If you are thinking about working on improving your baby or child’s sleep tendencies, then there are a few things that I really encourage to ensure that you will make the progress that you desire. Beginning to help your child sleep better and longer when they are developmentally ready, can take time and patience, but a better rested you and family is possible with a few adjustments and a change in mindset.
- Decide that you are about to make a lifestyle change, as with any self-improvement attempt you will need to be open about adjusting your current life, some will be long term, others short-term, but in order to open up the airways for your child’s sleep, change is necessary. Reading the relevant chapters in my book The Baby Sleep Solution, will help you begin to establish a plan for improving your child’s sleep.
- Accept that as parents, we are going to be tired in general, and that children do wake up overnight, they also can tend to wake early in the morning, however what you can anticipate if your child is 6 months and older, they could sleep for longer and get more consolidated stretches of sleep.
- Do not continue to wait for your sleep problems to resolve by themselves; many parents assume that sleep will get better when solids are introduced or when your child starts to move; and although it may improve, it may not, unless you start to make the adjustments that allows positive sleep to emerge.
- Observe a regular wake time between 6 and 7.30am and always anchor the day with a feed, even if your child has fed frequently overnight. By providing a feed first thing and pressing start on the day, regulates the feeding schedule and ensures that both the feeding rhythm and sleeping rhythm can run in sync with each other and not at odds; this helps to avoid feeds and naps from clashing; a presentation that often prevents daytime sleep from happening or from being long enough.
- Avoid allowing your child to become overtired. Bear in mind that overtiredness is obvious-intense eye rubbing, big type yawning, agitation, clenched fists, stretched limbs, vocal, whiney, fussy, hyper, or entertaining. Try to attempt sleep before you see these symptoms as it will make going to sleep less challenging and increase the chances of longer sleep duration.
- Consider earlier bedtimes as you help improve the sleep situation. Most children sleep better when they are in bed asleep between 6-8pm. Most under-rested children adjust well to 7 pm bedtime and if they are under 8 months, they respond to a wakeful period not exceeding 2.5 hours before bedtime, between 8-17 months, 4 hours works well and 18 months onwards 5 hours of wakefulness before being in bed asleep can have a significantly positive impact on the overnight presentation.
- Go to bed earlier yourselves. As we accept that parenting is challenging then doing so on fractured sleep is even more difficult. Factor in a few early adult bedtimes too in an effort to get more sleep yourself.
- Share the load as you begin to make changes, take in turns if applicable, draft in support if it is a possibility and be kind to each other as you work through the problems. Ask for help with older siblings, any assistance will only be needed at the very start until you get into your new sleep groove with your soon to be great sleeper.
- Establish an appropriate bedtime process to help prepare your child’s body for sleep. Do this activity specifically in the child’s bedroom to help ingrain positive associations with sleep and to avoid breaking the spell of your hard work by changing locations at the end. Introduce low impact activity –reading, softly singing, puzzles, shape sorting. Do this in a dimly lit environment, with plenty of physical and eye contact to help your child feel relaxed and supported close to sleep time. If your child could be relaxed and awake when they get into their cot or bed, the less exposed to nighttime activity you will be.
- Manage your expectations. Better sleeping patterns can take 3-4 weeks+ to emerge depending on the issues and your child’s age. Early improvements may be represented by improved mood and behavior, better eating, easier to get to sleep and then longer stretches will start to emerge. It is not an upward only spiral of improvement it can fluctuate throughout the few weeks, sometimes getting worse before it improves or you may find it gets better and then regresses, this is normal, so be prepared and confident in your new approach.
